Welcome to These Delicate Projects.
I’ve found over time that I am capable of being patient and careful with projects.
For example, fixing broken things or creating something from scratch. I sometimes personify these projects and have the capacity to care quite deeply for them.
I find a certain patience and determination within me to nurture and establish these things – but not myself.
In fact, I’ve found that I do the opposite when it comes to myself and the parts of me that are broken or in need of further establishment.
I lack patience, forgiveness, gentleness and care. I am harsh, aggressive and cruel.
Maybe you have experienced this too.
A lifetime of severe anxiety and many traumas has upset and confused me. I didn’t have very many friends until recently and I felt completely alone for much of my life, despite people always being there. I’m not sure when, but at some point, I decided that this was all my fault and that I deserved everything that had ever happened – from the very beginning.
So, along with my delicate projects such as things like: nurturing sourdough starters, crocheting granny squares and carefully constructing uni assessments – I seek to treat myself as one of these delicate projects too.
I’d like to be better to me and in turn be better for others.
Here, I would like to share with you my current projects and things that I’ve learnt along the way.
I’m hoping that you may resonate with even a small aspect of these themes and perhaps feel less alone or helpless. Even if these themes don’t resonate, I’m hoping that I have something to share that may be of interest to you.
Always,
Jane